7 Ways to Date a Guarded Woman

A guarded woman needs to be understood.

Photo by Richard Clark on Unsplash

Like a castle in medieval times, a woman who has been hurt, abandoned, emotionally and possibly physically abused, and left broken will build these thick walls up to protect herself. The walls they have up will remain impenetrable, and anyone trying to get in will find it almost impossible.

I have found myself drawn to women like this my entire life. A moth to a flame doesn’t even do justice to how and why I find myself loving these types of women. I suffer from a horrible case of Prince Charming complex. I want to rescue hurt women and show them what love can and should look like. So when I speak on loving a guarded woman, I feel I have an immense amount of knowledge and understanding to write this piece competently and give insight into the best ways to love them and be patient with them. Like Tyrion Lannister, I too drink and know things.

I love the castle analogy because it’s perfect for visualizing the protection needed by a woman who has been hurt. Whatever is inside the walls is sacred and unique to her, and she can’t bear to have it ransacked or pillaged again.

As a man who has been hurt very badly by someone leaving him, I can relate very well to a certain degree with why a woman would want to guard and fortify themselves.

“The most beautiful part to loving a guarded girl is this: when she lets you in, it’s not because she needs you. She stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because she wants you, and that’s the purest love of all.”

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I find myself spending a lot of time right now with someone who is guarded. I can tell she has been hurt a lot. We are just friends currently, but I care very deeply for her. So these ways below help me realize that I will need to be patient because it won’t happen overnight where she lets the drawbridge down and maybe lets me into her heart, and maybe we are just only friends.

1. Control Your Expectations.

It’s important to understand that if you are a person who needs their feelings validated right away, a guarded woman may not be the best person to pursue. You may end up just being friends with this person for a very long time. If you genuinely care about…